


Five Things Jack Will Never Admit to Daniel

by Paian



Category: Stargate (1994), Stargate SG-1
Genre: 100-1000 Words, 5 Things, Angst, Community: sg1_five_things, Episode Related, Episode: s04e09 Scorched Earth, Episode: s08e10 Endgame, M/M, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-23
Updated: 2007-01-23
Packaged: 2017-10-03 20:56:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paian/pseuds/Paian





	Five Things Jack Will Never Admit to Daniel

That the reason he didn't try to persuade him not to stay on Abydos was because he thought Sara would still be there when he got home, and he couldn't have stood having to choose between them, and the reason he didn't stay on Abydos himself was because Daniel had already chosen Sha'uri.

That the reason he didn't move Daniel in with him when Daniel came back from Abydos was that he didn't trust himself to keep his hands off and he didn't think he could stand it when Daniel said no.

That the reason he pushed the button to activate the naquadah bomb was because Daniel was on the Gadmeer ship, and he had to prove to himself that he would put duty and right before his emotional overattachment to a teammate -- to prove that he wasn't overattached, because if he was he'd never have been able to push that button. That every decision he made on that planet was the wrong decision for the wrong reason, and to him that's the worst one of all -- that choosing to kill Daniel to prove he was capable of killing Daniel if it came down to it was worse than choosing to commit genocide.

That the reason he didn't let Pendergast fire on the al'kesh wasn't because it carried the SGC's most valuable personnel and wasn't because the Tok'ra and the Jaffa would have done the same thing if they had to choose between their own operatives and a weapon that could kill the Tau'ri, and wasn't because he didn't have time to make a decision or chose by the default of being unable to make himself choose, and wasn't because Carter was on the ship, and it wasn't because Teal'c was on the ship since he didn't know at the time that Teal'c was there. It was because Daniel was on the ship, and he could never push that button again.

That the reason he had to go wasn't duty -- although that was a big part of it -- but Daniel. He couldn't watch him die again. He couldn't give another order that might lead to his death, not directly. He couldn't be responsible for him anymore. He couldn't send him into harm's way and he couldn't watch him go into harm's way. He had to back over the line he'd crossed and keep backing away until he couldn't even see the line anymore -- until he couldn't even see Daniel anymore. It was the wrong reason and a bad choice and he knows it, but it was the only one he could stand to make.


End file.
